Written By: Betsy Aniol, Crescent Moon Advanced Clinical Intern, and Jenny White, Clinical Manager
“Being thankful for the pregnancy does not mean a pregnant person must also welcome the body assessments or scrutiny that comes their way. And being bothered by body comments while pregnant does not at all suggest that someone is not thankful for their journey.”³
The body changes that occur before, during and after pregnancy can feel difficult to embrace, even if you expected or hoped for them. The holiday season will soon be upon us, bringing with it an abundance of time spent with friends and family around a dinner table. While this can be a season of joy, you may also find yourself bracing for the more difficult parts – unwanted comments about your body, reminders of loss, “When will you ____ ?” questions, or uncomfortable conversations around food or diet culture.
In anticipation of these moments, it can be helpful to identify the boundaries you want to set with your loved ones about your body and your pregnancy journey ahead of time. We want to validate the wide variety of experiences and feelings that individuals of all identities go through as parents, expecting or otherwise, and offer some suggestions about how you can relate to others and your body around the holiday table this year.
No matter what stage of the journey you’re in, extending kindness toward your body is key. Rather than “hating” or “loving” their body, some people find it helpful to settle into a “middle ground” when it comes to body-image. This concept has been labeled by some as ‘body neutrality’. In body neutrality, the focus is being at peace with your body and accepting it as a part of who you are, not focusing on how your body looks². It also gives us permission to hold multiple feelings about our bodies at once.
In the perinatal context, self-talk grounded in body-neutrality might sound like:
- “I can feel frustrated toward my body right now and I can still be respectful of it.”
- “My body is changing to support the baby’s growth and that’s its main job right now.”
- “My stomach looks and feels different than it once did – I feel both sad and grateful for these changes.”
- “My body is a part of my grief story and it is not something I need to erase.”
As far as comments from others go… they can be really hurtful at times! You are not being overly-sensitive for finding a comment to be rude or out of pocket. It is always okay to ask that the people around you avoid making comments about your body in this phase of life (or ever tbh). It can be helpful to prepare responses just in case, or simply have a conversation with yourself and/or your partner regarding how you would want to respond to unwarranted comments.
Consider how the self-talk ideas listed above might be adapted to fit a conversation with another person. Below are some additional suggestions:
- “I’m focused on the health of me and my baby, and my medical team says we are doing great.”
- “I’m proud of my body for what it’s doing/has done to build a baby!”
- “I’m not focused on ‘bouncing back’ to a certain weight, I’m focused on healing and growing with my baby.”
- Redirect or deflect the comment; walk away from diet/body-related conversations.
- If you’ve had a miscarriage or experienced other fertility difficulties this year and don’t feel up to navigating these conversations, it is also entirely okay to set firm boundaries around this topic.
Our relationship to food and to our bodies can be complicated. If you find yourself struggling with your own relationship to food while on your fertility journey, it may be helpful to consult with a dietician or nutritionist. Here are a few practices that Crescent Moon has open collaborative relationships with:
- Morgan Mullins Nutrition
- Eliza McClean, RD
- Healthier Tomorrows
References
¹Embracing your postpartum body with care and acceptance. (2025). https://www.swedish.org/news/uf/690950593?streamid=3129986
²Sreenivas, S. (2025, February 15). What is body neutrality? WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/beauty/what-is-body-neutrality
³Unpacking and Dealing with Body Comments + Scrutiny During Pregnancy — Wildflower Therapy. (2023, November 4). Wildflower Therapy. https://www.wildflowertherapyllc.com/blog/2023/11/04/unpacking-and-dealing-with-body-comments-scrutiny-during-pregnancy
