By Besty Aniol
This Pride Month, we want to recognize and validate the experiences of LGBTQ+ parents, especially in a time where anti-queer legislation is surging. At Crescent Moon, we see you, we support you, and we will stand with you. Queer people are just as deserving of building a family and of accessing quality support throughout the journey.
About 40% of queer people seek alternative ways to become parents, yet many face roadblocks when building a family due to:
- Stigma and discrimination from fertility clinics and adoption agencies
- Institutions may assume there is someone in the relationship-or that there should be-who can provide sperm or eggs for fertilization
- Insurance companies may require an infertility diagnosis before covering fertility treatments, which can create additional barriers for many LGBTQ+ individuals, particularly transgender and nonbinary people.
Even after successfully navigating these systems, queer parents may face unique challenges, including:
- Fight for legal paternity or maternity of their child, particularly when donors, surrogates, or assisted reproductive technology is involved.
- Ongoing discrimination, biases, and the impact of LGBTQ+ legislation
- Lack of support or acceptance from family, friends, and or the broader community
- Emotional exhaustion of repeatedly explaining or defending your identity, relationship, or family structure.
Despite these challenges, many LGBTQ+ parents describe parenthood as deeply meaningful and rewarding. Many speak about the pride that comes from building a family in the face of hate and discrimination. To insist on embracing your wish to have a family while not fitting in hetero- and cis-normative boxes is courageous and empowering.
One aspiring queer parent, Taneasha White, speaks about how advocating for themself gave them more confidence in advocating for their future children and discovering what boundaries they want to set with others pointing fingers and questions…
“I felt like I was alone. I imagined my future with the several children I’ve always wanted and envisioned doing it all on my own, dodging questions from the littles about why they don’t know my side of the family. But eventually, I recognized that other people’s lack of understanding isn’t mine to hold.”
If you’re a queer parent or queer parent-to-be, we encourage you to book an appointment with any of our clinicians at Crescent Moon Therapy. While much of our work centers on the perinatal experience, we strive to provide affirming care for parents of all genders and sexual identities. For further reading and resources, please see this article from the website Gay Parents to Be, that features various mental health resources for LGBTQ+ parents.
References
1 https://psychcentral.com/voices/becoming-mom-queer-parenthood
